Note: This was pre-written and pre-scheduled to keep my blog active while I recover from surgery. Thank you for being here while I recover and I hope you have a great Christmas season.
A Guide to Surviving the Christmas Holidays
The holiday season is painted as a picture-perfect time of joy, connection and warmth but for those who carry the weight of Complex PTSD, this time of year can feel like walking through a minefield. The twinkling lights, bustling streets and social obligations can mask a deep sense of unease, as memories tied to family conflict, neglect or trauma resurface with every carol or festive advert. For some, Christmas is not a time of excitement but a season of hyper-vigilance, exhaustion and internal battles. This blog is not here to shame those feelings or suggest that you “just relax.” Instead, it aims to carve out a path for survival: a compassionate guide for reclaiming some sense of safety, autonomy and comfort during a season that often magnifies pain.
1. Recognising the Hidden Triggers
One of the most validating steps you can take is to acknowledge that this time of year carries its own set of challenges. You are not overreacting or “being dramatic.” Christmas is heavily tied to cultural expectations, family traditions and sensory overload, all of which can trigger flashbacks or dissociation. If your trauma stemmed from family dynamics, gatherings may feel suffocating. If it came from neglect, this season’s emphasis on closeness might trigger loneliness or grief. Even something as simple as the smell of certain foods, flashing lights or the sound of a familiar Christmas song can catapult you back in time. By acknowledging these sensory and emotional triggers, you can take back some power. Awareness is your armour; it allows you to prepare rather than simply endure.
2. Creating a Safe Holiday Blueprint
Instead of bracing yourself for chaos, take time to design a holiday season that genuinely prioritises your well-being. This is not selfish; it is survival. Start by identifying what feels safe. Maybe you are comfortable celebrating with a select few people instead of attending every gathering. Perhaps you choose to spend Christmas Day alone or with chosen family. Having a “safe holiday blueprint” allows you to honour your boundaries while still participating in traditions in a way that does not drain your emotional reserves.
You might find it helpful to create a visual plan for the season. Mark days on a calendar when you expect to have more energy and days when you might need quiet. Schedule breaks between events so your nervous system has time to recover. Build in comfort rituals: a warm drink after a social event, time to write in your journal or a sensory-friendly space in your home where you can decompress. By putting these plans into writing, you give yourself permission to honour your needs especially when guilt creeps in.
3. Anchor Points: Building Safety Into Each Day
Holidays can be overwhelming because they throw us off our usual routines. With C-PTSD even small changes can trigger dysregulation so create “anchor points” throughout your day; simple, grounding practices that remind your body and mind that you are safe. These could be morning rituals like lighting a candle and sitting in silence for five minutes before engaging with the day or evening wind-down practices such as a specific tea or guided meditation that signals safety to your nervous system.
One unique technique is to create a “comfort kit” for the season. This could include a weighted scarf, a soothing scent, a stress ball or fidget, a familiar photo or even a playlist of songs that calm your nervous system. The key is to curate sensory tools that feel comforting to you personally. Keeping your kit in your bag or by your bed allows you to reach for familiarity when your surroundings feel overwhelming.
4. Silent Celebrations & Rituals of Your Own
It is easy to feel pressured to participate in holiday traditions that do not feel safe or fulfilling. C-PTSD often stems from environments where your boundaries were dismissed so reclaiming your holidays can be a form of healing. Consider creating your own traditions, no matter how unconventional. You could spend Christmas Eve writing letters to your younger self, lighting a candle for each year you have survived or curating a cosy evening with your favourite films instead of attending gatherings.
Quiet celebrations like these serve as gentle acts of rebellion: a declaration that you deserve peace during a season that once felt heavy. If you enjoy the aesthetic of Christmas but find large gatherings difficult, decorate your home in ways that bring you comfort. Soft, warm lighting, tactile decorations and soothing scents like vanilla or cedar can help you reclaim the season’s magic without overwhelm.
5. Negotiating Family Dynamics Without Guilt
If you choose to attend family gatherings, create a strategy that prioritises your mental health. This could mean driving yourself so you can leave when you need to, arranging a supportive friend to call during breaks or having a phrase prepared to excuse yourself if conversations become triggering. Many people with C-PTSD feel trapped by family obligations especially during Christmas but it is vital to remember that boundaries are not rejection; they are self-preservation.
It can be empowering to rehearse boundaries in advance. For example, if you know certain relatives will bring up uncomfortable topics, prepare a neutral response and a way to change the subject. You can also set time limits on visits. A two hour appearance might be less draining than a full day and giving yourself permission to step away without over-explaining is a powerful act of reclaiming control.
6. Turning Down the Noise: Sensory Regulation
Holidays are loud, from bustling shopping centres to flashing lights and constant music. If you are already hypervigilant, this sensory bombardment can push your nervous system into overdrive. Earplugs or noise-cancelling headphones can be discreet tools to create quiet in chaotic environments. Sunglasses indoors, dimming lights at home and keeping your surroundings visually calm can help create balance when overstimulation threatens to unravel you.
For those who enjoy the festive atmosphere but feel overwhelmed in crowds, try visiting shops during off-peak hours or celebrating Christmas through online experiences like virtual carol concerts or holiday films. The goal is not to shut yourself away completely but to participate on your terms.
7. Permission to Feel & Rest
One of the most radical things you can do this Christmas is to honour your emotional truth. You do not have to force yourself to be cheerful or put together. It is okay to cry, grieve or even feel indifferent about the holidays. C-PTSD survivors often carry guilt for not being “festive enough” but your worth is not tied to your ability to perform happiness.
Instead of pushing through, give yourself permission to rest. Plan days where you do nothing festive at all. Wear comfortable clothes, enjoy your favourite meals and allow your body to slow down. Rest is not a reward for productivity; it is a necessary part of survival.
8. Emergency Plans for Overwhelm
Despite preparation, moments of overwhelm will still come. This is where having an emergency plan can help. Keep grounding exercises written somewhere accessible like the 5-4-3-2-1 method (naming five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, one you can taste). Save a list of numbers you can call, from crisis lines to trusted friends. Even preparing a simple script for what to say if you need to excuse yourself from a situation can be life-saving.
The goal is not perfection. The goal is survival and every act of preparation is a way of showing yourself compassion.
Closing Thoughts
Surviving the Christmas holidays with C-PTSD is not about creating a flawless experience but about reclaiming choice, control and comfort in a season that may have once represented pain. You are allowed to redefine what Christmas means to you. You are allowed to celebrate quietly, rest deeply and prioritise your safety above tradition. Every boundary you set is an act of courage. Every small step you take to soothe yourself is a victory. This Christmas, let survival itself be your celebration.
Mystic Anomanly 